ACNJ staff writer Keith Hadad recently spoke with Peter Bullock, founder of Hey Black Dad, about his dad doula practice, what brought him to this line of work, and more.
Peter Bullock is pioneering a new path for dads and families across New Jersey with his doula work, Hey Black Dad. Through in-person and virtual sessions, Bullock assists men transitioning into fatherhood by educating them on how to best support their birthing partner through their prenatal and postpartum pregnancy journey.
Can you please explain what you do as a dad doula?
Peter Bullock: "So becoming a parent and going into parenthood is a rite of passage. There have been unknown paths to becoming a father, dad, parent. As a birth and postpartum doula, I assist fathers with their journey through the different stages of pregnancy, labor and postpartum. I make sure that the dads have the tools necessary to be the best support partners."
How long have you been practicing and what led you down this path? What is your background in that field, and what kind of training or courses did you have to take?
Peter: "I've been practicing for about three years now. When my wife was pregnant with our daughter, she was telling me about the different stats when it comes to moms and specifically black moms. The high rates of maternal mortality in the black community. I knew I really had to get involved and get informed about all the different things that I could do to be the best support I could be, but I couldn't find a lot of information that was specific to men. Information that was specific to things that I could do that could help. So I was like, alright, I'm sure it's out there, but let me learn about what a doula is and how doulas could be supportive. So I went and I got the information. We also had a doula throughout our journey. Then shortly after the birth of our child, I decided to go and get certified as a full spectrum doula. I was trained by Mama Shafi Monroe, SMC doulas, and then I was certified by Mama Alaina Broach of Ahavah Birth and Beyond."
When you were going through training, did you run into any opposition or were you met with any stigma?
Peter: "No, it was very accepting of my work with fathers. A lot of the other doulas were very happy to hear that I chose to specifically work with fathers. It's necessary. There are a lot of questions that dads have and sometimes dads just don't know that they're not the only ones that have these questions."
Why do you think fathers need the support of a doula?
Peter: "Up until recently, dads kind of weren't super hands-on when it came to childbirth, but now due to societal norms changing and dads having more time to be present we're able to be more present and hands-on. Fathers are being encouraged to have more participation throughout the different stages. We’re so much more hands-on—I call these the 21st century fathers—we're hands-on; we want to be helpful; we want to be supportive; but at the same time we don't want to break anything... Dads are really eager to help and assist but we don't want to break anything [therefore] we take a backseat... We don't like looking like we don't know what we're doing so we don't ask questions [for fear of looking silly].
A dad could benefit from having a doula by having the tools needed... A male doula would be able share with dad 'Hey this is how you could help... These are some questions... You could ask when you're working with your partner while she is expecting.' Like said dads don't want break anything.. So that's where come in... Help dads confidence assisting [birthing partner] speaking [medical] care providers...
For example one things provide dad questions can ask medical care providers Not only questions answers should look from providers That helping give little bit confidence ask questions [because] know answers look Now has role no longer fixture back room ability really support present moment That's one things male doulas help give tools needed supportive also confidence necessary feel empowered support"
How would community large benefit fathers taking active engaged role during pregnancy labor earliest phases parenthood?
Peter: "Fathers being engaged as early as possible result stronger relationship bond families already statistics show present benefit higher graduation rate safer families benefit Making sure tools needed supportive early possible benefit large"
You spoke challenges black maternal health system before How hope work mitigate issues?
Peter: "I want make sure fathers work following
tools confident speak tactfully advocate spouse
maternal healthcare system hear voices voice concerns advocate speak assist"
Do know other dad doulas state?
Peter: "In State New Jersey not know active presently assisting outside"
What steps programs recommend somebody interested becoming themselves?
Peter: "First encourage ask attracts work encourage seek credible organization supports educates provides certification training Also looking something New Jersey speak @HeyBlackDad happy help support along journey"
If someone about become wanted work steps take?
Peter: "They reach www heyblackdads com submission form fill quick discovery call see best ways assist resources offer reach Instagram @HeyBlackDad"
Editorial Note: This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity. These edits do not affect the essence of the discussion or accuracy of information presented.
